Some Christians (or adherents to any religion, really) may think
that mystical experiences (to the degree that we believe in them at all) are
necessarily confined to their faith. A
mystical experience within another faith must necessarily be coming from the
devil. To believe otherwise would be to
discredit the exclusivity and rightness of their own faith.
Admittedly, I struggle with a “disenchanted” faith. But, I’m not one of those people.
Charles had three (what I would call) mystical experiences. All while practicing Islam.
The 1st:
Sometime during my second prostration – when I bent down to
touch my head to the ground, to “grovel before God,” as a future employer would
put it – something like a massive spark of electricity hit me right smack in
the middle of my head. Everything was
suddenly bright, and blue, and I was breathless. And exhausted.
And the words appeared, fully formed in my head: You do not
need to be so angry.
They weren’t my words.
I hadn’t thought them. They came from
outside of me. I had to stop praying and
catch my breath. I rolled over on my
back. What had just happened? Had God just spoken to me?
There was no question in my mind. And no doubt whatsoever. God had spoken to me. God had reached inside, put his thought in my
head, this thought that wasn’t mine and that I needed so much to hear, to feel,
to become a part of me. It was a tiny
moment – it happened in an instant – and yet it was utterly overwhelming. It engulfed me from the inside, left me
gasping and in shock. It was as if I’d
ceased to be an individual human being, ceased to be anything other than an
appendage of the infinite. (p 97-98, bold mine)
The 2nd:
Unbidden, and unasked for, God was in my head and body. Again.
For a moment so brief I’m not sure it could be measured. And yet so overwhelming it seemed as if the world
had, in the moment, stopped. Words formed:
Everything is going exactly as it should be.
Even though they were inside my head, they were not my words. Not my thoughts. (p 135, bold mine)
And the 3rd:
And then, as had happened twice before in my life, there
were words in my head. Words I knew were
not mine. My love is all that matters.
But this time there was no electric shock. Nothing turned blue. No breathlessness, no halted prayers. Just these words, gently inhabiting me, words
given to me – spoken but not spoken – in the midst of death, terror, and
destruction. In the midst of the worst
thing that I and everyone else standing there beneath the fire and smoke had
ever experienced. My love is all that
matters. (p 178, bold mine)
You do not need to be so angry.
Everything is going exactly as it should be.
My love is all that matters.
There is nothing particularly special about the words
themselves. They are not complicated or inaccessibly poetic. They do not reveal some profound
wisdom hidden from the foundation of the world, words that had never before
been uttered. Anyone could have spoken
these same words. But for Charles they were
charged with life. They were words for him in that
moment, and for him alone.
My thoughts drift to the gifted white stone of Revelation 2, a stone inscribed with a name
known only to the one who receives it. Just
a stone with a name? I imagine it being
a name that cuts deep in its healing and profundity, accounting for all things
in my existence. I can’t even imagine
what this name would be. God can speak
this name. That I believe.
So it’s about the words, sure. But it’s also more. It’s the immanence of the divine, the
temporary withdrawing of the veil of separation. A different kind of knowing that is pure
gift.
There’s a big part of me that reads these accounts and
responds just like his (at the time) girlfriend, Jennifer.
She looked at me with a mixture of awe and disbelief. “I’m jealous,” she said. (p 98)
But there’s also a part of me that isn’t so sure about that
at all. Do I really want my life
interrupted?
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