Please be

Could I stand before You and say

“Look at what I have done! Come, marvel with me!”

Certainly not. 

Even my best is tinged with shades of selfishness and ambition. 

I lord it over others, “it” being all manner of things. 

I'd turn heaven into hell. 

It is not a matter of scarcity. 

If I had enough, it would still not be enough.

I could not build a heaven

There is something within me, something that is beyond me, beyond my ability to control

But what is the deepest thing within me?

The very deepest part

The thing only You can see

The original

Is it wicked?

Is it lost?

Is it meaningless?

It cannot be

I don't even know myself. 

God, You

You

Must be the one

To dig beneath these walls of ego and will

I have built them strong and sturdy

These prison walls

They make sense in a world of tragedy after all

Defeat me

Find me there

But in asking this

My faith is that You are Other

Than what they have said, the many

So different

You must be

Please, please be

If indeed the depths of me are Your creation

There is but one question

Who are You Lord?